


Maybe Just A Sip

by paigestuck



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 13:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paigestuck/pseuds/paigestuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don’t have all the answers and you’re too sober for this shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Just A Sip

You stare at the bottle next to you. It’s so close you can almost imagine the sweet poison going down your throat. Maybe it would make everything better. Maybe Janey was right. May you  _were_  better when you were drinking.

You stand and push yourself away from the table. No no no no no  _no_. She didn’t mean it. She was just angry. You try so hard to believe it. You want to believe it. But things are so much harder when you’re sober.

Your friends are going fucking crazy and you don’t know how to help. Jake wants space, granted he’s being a douche about it, he still deserves to be happy. And he’s going break Dirk’s heart and you know you’re going to have to be there for him. He’s going to need you to be strong. And Jane will need you too when it’s all over with. She's going to need you to help cope, to move on. Jake will need you, he’ll need you to explain why the others are upset, to show him how insensitive he is, and how he needs to pay more attention.

It’s too much to handle so you pour the liquid from the bottle to a glass. No rules against that, right? No one said you couldn’t watch the pretty clear liquor. It smells like home and oh god you want a sip.

You stop yourself again. Your friends need you to be strong, but it’s so much easier being strong when you’re drunk. You know this love triangle needs you to mediate, but how. You’re not good enough for Jane anymore. You feel like a terrible friend for never bringing up your worries to Dirk. You’re never going to be the one Jake wants.

And it hurts so much. You don’t have all the answers and you’re too sober for this shit. You were just happy to have your friends, to finally being hanging out. You still haven’t heard from Calliope though and your heart aches again.

This isn’t fair this isn’t fair this isn’t fair. This game is hard enough as it is. There are bigger things to worry about than your own feelings. You need to get everyone back in gear, but it’s hard and your heart aches too much from all this pressure and you just want to sleep.

Instead you take a sip which turns into a drink which turns into a glass which turns into the whole bottle. You remember why you drank. You remember how it took the edge off of everything and as much as you’ll regret it in the morning, you’ve forgotten how to feel, you’ve forgotten the ache in your heart. 

The next morning you don’t want to leave your bed. Not because of the hangover, but because the ache in your heart is back twice as strong and you don’t want to think about how you relapsed and how there’s always another bottle of vodka lying around that could drown your feelings.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you realize that you feel more lonely now than you ever did when you were actually alone.


End file.
